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Post by Nintendo Master on Oct 11, 2009 9:40:16 GMT
Random Joke of the day -It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
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Post by Nintendo Master on Oct 11, 2009 9:42:39 GMT
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.” Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
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dave
Newbie Member
Posts: 12
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Post by dave on Oct 11, 2009 9:47:53 GMT
What is the definition of confusion - Removed due to rule violation
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dave
Newbie Member
Posts: 12
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Post by dave on Oct 11, 2009 9:56:25 GMT
A jewish man applied for citizenship in Wales but was refused on the grounds of his circumcision. Apparently you have to be a complete knob to be Welsh
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Post by DocWifi on Jan 13, 2010 23:25:30 GMT
Some Jokes for the New Year
Two blondes walk into a building.......... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat slob!"
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!
"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's." "Well you can't say fairer than that then"
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin
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Post by experience on Aug 29, 2010 19:40:34 GMT
I know this is sad but my little brother keeps on singing the "Old McDonald" song. Drives me mad sometimes, honestly !! Lol !! Coz I've heard the same words so many times I decided to make a small edition of my own... (haven't taught it to him yet...he's only 4 years old...it'll be rather inappropriate! Lol! ) Soz, guys !! Lame, I know !! But that's what happens when you hear the same song over and over again !! Lol !!
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kahuna
Newbie Member
Posts: 15
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Post by kahuna on Aug 30, 2010 10:33:41 GMT
Vampire bat A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
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Post by vintage1998 on Aug 31, 2010 16:16:47 GMT
Two elephants and a Snake fell off a cliff
Du Dun Tsssss
lol
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elseb
New Gamer
Posts: 40
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Post by elseb on Aug 31, 2010 19:01:27 GMT
This joke is funny, if you don't take it seriously ... Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven Ouch....
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Post by nolvorite on Aug 31, 2010 19:27:41 GMT
you're momma's so fat she looked up cheat codes for wii fit
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elseb
New Gamer
Posts: 40
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Post by elseb on Sept 1, 2010 18:48:32 GMT
you're momma's so fat she looked up cheat codes for wii fit Different, never heard that before.
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xypher
Newbie Member
Posts: 10
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Post by xypher on Jan 27, 2011 23:41:20 GMT
So, I was just curious... do you guys know any Jews that are in the oven cleaning business? He just kind of left and in fact left more ashes in it than before.
>>Racism, is lol.
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